Friday, January 28, 2005

Monster Mummy

I am absofcukinglutely mad with Zareef. ARGGGHHHH!!!! Chicken pox tak chicken pox. Tak kira aaa. Tak tahan dah. He's driving me insane at this moment. I am not speaking to him sampai daddy dia balik. I'm giving him the silent treatment.

I need time out! I need a personal time for myself so that I don't go on hating my son! I need to be alone for awhile! I want to shout at the top of my lungs and I did and it felt good! Rasa nak lempang2 je sampai dia berhenti menjerit macam orang giler but I didn't!

But why oh why did I feel so wretched and horrible after that? Why did I regret yelling and shouting at him? Why did I cry and kissed him like there's no tomorrow when he cried himself to sleep? Why did I apologize profusely to him when he woke up?

It's a tough job being a full time mom but I have to do it whether I like it or not. But for now, I don't.

4 comments:

NORA ANSHAR said...

tu la kan... time biler dia degil kepala batu tuh rasa nak piat2 je telinga sampai putuih tapi bila dia tido rasa bersalah sesangat and nyesal tak sudah. kesabaran tahap maksimum rini oiiii... but sometimes melayang gak tangan nih jgn tak tau sampai B pun slalu sound jgn ganas2 sgt ngan zareef pasal tu la anak kita dunia akhirat.l

really appreciate your understanding. we full time moms have to stand together.

nong said...

hehehehe, aku mmg kagum lah dengan full time mom/house wife ni. Mmg tabik, sebab aku jaga anak aku EXCLUSIVELY masa weekends pun rase macam nak putus urat tekak, dok jerit No! sana, no! sini... Kekadang tu kena babap lah jugak. Baby boy/girl mmg sama lasak jek nowadays..Kalau 24/7 agaknya mau aku kena nervous breakdown...

So hang in there Nora... hehehehe... :)

Along said...

Hooo...I'm with you there Noresh. I've read thousands of books on how to disciplin your childlah, how not to use rotan and stuff like that. These mat sallehs don;t know what they're talking about. Sebab tu le anak depa tak betul somo. We have to punish our children so they learn their lesson, but not excessively lah. Jangan sampai pengsan budak tu baru nak stop pukul. Hit them on their feet, never above that. Itu sunah Rasul dalam nak ajar anak.

Memang tough, nak2 now I have two on my hands. Fortunately I have a maid, so bile rasa dah tak tahan dah...sebelum betul2 meletup I hand them over to my maid. Tunggu cool down sket, then I take them back. Rasa bersalah sebenarnya bagi maid yg jaga, so I try to spend as much time with them during teh weekends.

Tapi bile dah pening tu, handover jugak. Dah tak larat nak jerit, nak kejar...isy..

NORA ANSHAR said...

yes ppl, being a full time mom is the toughest job in the world. it incorporates love, brute strength, elbow grease, authority, compassion, diplomacy, creativity, endurance and abnormal patience around the clock all for the price of NOTHING.

and yes azrin aka sput, it's easier said than done esp. when u deal with a 2 year old yg belum akil baligh dan berakal. reason all u want sampai besok pun dia takkan paham. thank u for your suggestions but lets see how u fair in that domain when u get one of your own and then we'll talk.

for now, i've made amends with my darling son and obviously he has forgave and forgotten. i thank Allah everyday for giving me the strength and health to do my job as a mom even though sometimes i suck BIG TIME at it.