After working for six days, I quit. As easy as that. I threw in the towel with a 24-hours notice and didn't get paid a single sen. I was fuming mad but the thought of my trip quickly cheered me up.
Why quit, you ask? I was given a job that I didn't enjoy. I wasn't clicking with the job and after six days, there wasn't any chemistry between me and the job.
Why didn't I try harder, you say? Well, there were a lot of things riding on my swift decision to quit. I was subtly reprimanded for taking 2 weeks off when others who were on probation like me were given none. It will reflect badly on my performance, I was told. Like I care shit. Nope, threats like that don't ruffle my feathers at all.
I'm being choosy and fussy, you think? Choosy and fussy I am, because Alhamdulillah, as B puts it, I have the luxury to choose. Yes, I do feel a little bit guilty for just pushing away a job that promises a paycheck every month when lots of other people out there are still struggling to get a job. Ada orang kata tolak rezeki. In a way, I think I am and I hope God forgives me for that but I have my reasons.
My top reason would be the kids. For the six days that I worked, I would come back at 6.30 and pick them up. Zareef's face would be that of a sad and faraway look. Like he detests me working and once when I picked him up late, he was crying. Then he asked me "Mummy, bila Zareef nak stop staying at school sampai petang?". Oh my God! That really tore me up inside. I know other moms do it and other kids stay back at their schools all the time but I just cannot bear to see my son looking so sad and hearing him say that... that really got to me. I just can't. That's me.
I am so used of taking care of my own kids that I become paranoid when other people takes care of them. Yes, they provide my kids with food, help to wash them up, teach them a thing or two but they do it because they are paid to do them. There's no love or care that goes into the act. I know it's a little bit too much to expect those sort of things or maybe none at all given that some of these carers are just school leavers and don't have children of their own but there isn't much nurturing going on on their part.
Hygiene part tu, toksah cakap la. I'm forever paranoid. I never leave Zara's bottles at the daycare. I always bring them back and wash them thoroughly till I'm satisfied that they're clean and fit for my princess. I would always go to their kitchen and toilet to inspect the state of cleanliness and tell the carers off when it's not up to my level.
The other part would be that I want to do something that I'm passionate about. In my case, it would be baking. For the six days that I worked, I didn't even have time to cook, let alone bake. I missed baking. I feel incomplete. I had to decline quite a number of cake orders because I just don't have the energy nor the time to commit myself to fulfill the orders.
Now that I'm back to being a work-at-home-mom, I'm going full steam ahead in the baking department. So people, bring on the orders ya!
One other petty reason but I deem significant is that I foresee lots of traveling will happen this coming year and next be it local or abroad. Yes, I'm too selfish to go to work to let go of my traveling opportunities.
I hold strongly to my mother's advise that is "Rezeki tu ada di mana-mana. Kita kena berusaha baru la Allah kurniakan rezeki pada kita. Biar dapat sikit asalkan halal and berkat". I couldn't agree more.
Dah... jangan tanya lagi pasal keje ye. Penat la nak explain.