Friday, January 28, 2005

Monster Mummy

I am absofcukinglutely mad with Zareef. ARGGGHHHH!!!! Chicken pox tak chicken pox. Tak kira aaa. Tak tahan dah. He's driving me insane at this moment. I am not speaking to him sampai daddy dia balik. I'm giving him the silent treatment.

I need time out! I need a personal time for myself so that I don't go on hating my son! I need to be alone for awhile! I want to shout at the top of my lungs and I did and it felt good! Rasa nak lempang2 je sampai dia berhenti menjerit macam orang giler but I didn't!

But why oh why did I feel so wretched and horrible after that? Why did I regret yelling and shouting at him? Why did I cry and kissed him like there's no tomorrow when he cried himself to sleep? Why did I apologize profusely to him when he woke up?

It's a tough job being a full time mom but I have to do it whether I like it or not. But for now, I don't.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Attack of the Chicken Pox

Zareef was diagnosed with chicken pox by his mommy and daddy 2 days ago. It started out with tiny red dots but now is growing plentifold. He's itchy and keeps on scratching at his poxes. How do I say to a 2-year old not to scratch coz if he does, he'll be scarred for life?? Kesian little kiddo nih... one whole body is covered but still managed to pose for the camera.

I've given him Calpol for his high temperature (dia demam sekali), calomine lotion for his poxes and Piriton to help ease the itchiness. He's weak and feeling very floppy, miserable, whingeing, clingy and whinny, the works. What else can I do to ease his suffering, anyone?

Luckily both of us are immune as we've already gotten the miserable chicken pox when we were in our teens. Now, our house it out of bounds to everyone and I'm quarantining him until this ordeal is over.

Attack of the chicken pox

Is the first always the best?

I have had plentiful of firsts in life. First love, first job, first apartment, first car, first toy, first lust, first sex, first shoe, first vacation, first bag, first suit and first blog. The question now that I've always wondered and pondered upon is... Is the first always the best?

Let's see... my first love come at a very young age. I was seven. Haaa... I can see everyone's disbelief faces. He was my classmate. At seven, it was love at first sight. Ala-ala citer My Girl gitu except that neither him nor I die from bee stings. I didn't tell him and him me for six years. When we went to our respective boarding schools and came back for school holidays did we discover our feelings for each other. What I thought was a simple crush became a relationship. It lasted for 4 years before I found out from his friends that he was cheating on me with another girl. Well, that answers the long and dry season of missing letters and phone calls. Bah Humbug!

My first job was as a housekeeper at The Union Hotel. I needed extra money for my lavish spendings and the obligatory end of semester road trips. The job?? Clean up hotel rooms after the guests have left. It was a hard work for me considering that I seldom tidy up my bed or clean the bathroom or vacuum the floor. The supervisor taught me the art of putting up clean sheets and folding them at their corners before tucking neatly under the mattress. Thank God for that for to this very day, it became a habit which I'm rather proud of.

My first apartment was on Ross Ade Drive, just a stone's throw away from the Ross Ade Stadium. It was an on-campus studio apartment which I would have dearly loved except for the roomie that comes with it. She was decent apart from her weird habits which were listening to loud deafening punk music as a lullaby, lighting up funny smelling incense that blocks my nose up to the nines and her sleeping partner grinding away in the wee hours of the night waking me up from lala land.

My first car... hmmm... I don't own a car, yet. But the first car that I drove was my dad's Nissan Sunny 130Y. Despite it being old, it did its fair share of ferrying me around all over Peninsular Malaysia. The first time I drove it was right after passing my driving test. My dad put me straight to the test of driving from Klang to Batu Pahat. Man! That was a first and was I excited. It felt great putting my foot down on the accelerator and felt the car pushing itself to its limits under my control.

There are too many firsts that I want to write but with Zareef sleeping on my lap, I'll just stop. Period.

But the question still and will remain... is the first always the best? To my best recollection, some of it were and some of it weren't. Some are best forgotten and shoved into the deepest, darkest closet available while some I find it worthwhile putting on display for the rest of the world to see. Some are best shared with family and closest friends when some are ideal as arsenals for the worst of enemies. For me, one of it kept making an appearance in my dreams at least once a week. Hmm... kenapa ekk??

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Big and Small Boys Toys

B is passionate, no let me rephrase that, is stir crazy when it comes to cars. The big ones, the small ones, the real ones and the collectible ones. And now, the trait has proudly been passed to the next generation, his son.

B would buy for his little boy all kinds of cars almost everytime we go out. Most of it were bought at the carboot for mere pennies. Zareef would line them up bumper to bumper like the traffic jam or side by side like in the parking lot. Sometimes I would find Zareef lying on the floor and roll the cars about while talking to himself.

"Ni car parking."

"Ni car Mummy" (that'll be my miniature Porsche Cayenne)

"Ni car Daddy" (B's would be a yellow Evo)

"Daddy drive car then BUSSSSHHH" (Zareef's version of two cars colliding into each other)

"Nak tido with car Jaguar" (Zareef even bring his cars to sleep with him at night. That's how passionate he is with cars).

Mind you, Zareef can name cars when we go for a drive. He'll be naming Jaguars, Mercs, Beemers etc. but he can recognize a Merc a mile away. Must be the 'tiga bintang' logo that he's so familiar with.

Did I tell you the story about the first time that B bought his first RC? Of all the places, he found his first love (sadly I've taken second pole position when it comes to cars) at a car boot last year. It was a Nikko 1:15 battery operated 27 MHz Mitsubishi Evolution VII. The man who sold the car had only played it once indoors and wasn't keen on it. So he sold the brand spanking new car for 60 quids. B came home bearing his RC, all giggly and wuzzy, like a child who have just gotten his first Action Man.

Ever since then, every spare minute was spent caressing, tweaking and transfiguring his new car. I was given the chance to test the car at the university car park. That was before I crashed it into a bush and nearly gave B a coronary attack. Thereafter, it was off limits to me.

Later, after lamenting how slow his car was and how everyone else in the RC group played with nitro powered cars and he even come up with the reason 'nanti kita boleh main and race sama2' he bought a nitro RC off eBay. At first I thought the car uses petrol like normal car does but no.... it had to be a special one bought at the RC shop. Haiyaaa... banyak betul cekadak. Sometimes I do grumble and mumble, but most of the time I just give in and let him have fun. Truth to be told, I do enjoy playing the RC which is why the battery operated Evo is now mine. Hehehhe...

B has not played his RC for months now. It's well kept in a box in the study room and quite forgotten. But come summer, B and his gang would be bringing out their beaus and ram their hearts out at the university's car park. Me?? I'll be watching from the sidelines with Zareef, not interfering with the overgrown boys and their toys.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Overgrown boys and their toys

The small boy's toys

Thursday, January 13, 2005


I am blessed with many, many friends. So many that sometimes I forget about them or rather they me. The chronicles of my friends ranged from as early as kindergarten right up till the present. If I were to list them down, which I actually did when I got wed, would come up to the hundreds.

When I first landed my feet in Loughborough, I was so bored, I almost died. I had jetlag. I was 5 and half months pregnant. I had no friends. All forms of communication ceased to exist within the first two weeks of our arrival. I had no phone, internet nor TV and it drove me mad. I was damn lonely. When B had to drag his sorry ass to the campus to start his Phd life, I would cry and cry and bawl my eyes out. Maybe it was the intolerable loneliness that swept me. Maybe it was the unstable hormones raging inside me. Or maybe, I just missed my family and great friends back home.

To me, friends are everything. They make me laugh. They make me cry. They make me do the right honorable thing but they sometimes make me do the wildest unimaginable. They become the essence of my livelihood. Sometimes, they even replace the brothers I've already had and the sisters I've never had. They become the shoulders I cry on. They are the pillars of my strength.

When I was in SSP for five solid years, my friends were my family. We studied, prayed, ate, sleep, played, pranked and partied together. I shamefully admit that during this period, family came in second after my friends. Don't get me wrong. I love my parents and brothers dearly but I couldn't possible tell them about certain things like why I LOOOOVE Chad Allen so much or why my pet sis was acting strangely towards me or even my strange liking towards nasi kawah and ayam karbon. It's just that spending 24-7 of 5 years of my crucial adolescent teenage life made me closer to them than my family.

Then it was on to college life starting with the preparation course by T*L*K*M (where I met and fell in love with B which is another whole story that I will blog on later), then MSM Cheras, proceeded to Sunway College, continued fresh at PPP/ITM and ended with Purdue. Gosh! Now it's starting to dawn on me how long it was for me to complete my tertiary education. Actually it was. 6 fcuking long years but I've never regretted it one bit because along the way, I managed to amass two different styles of education, a boyfriend who later became my lifelong partner, rekindle and strengthen parents-daughter relationship, one huuuuuge debt, precious moments, invaluable experiences, painful wake-up call and perennial friendships.

Now that I'm here, away from it all, I've had the pleasure of meeting new friends and establishing a second family from it. Through the discovery of blogs, I've even made firm friends who reads through my mumbo jumbos and yet still accept me for who I am eventhough we've never met face to face.

To all my friends out there, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for enriching my life with your exquisite and warm personalities, encouraging words of wisdom, quirky quips, and enchanting stories. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

He Bids FArewell

It was adios munchachos to Zareef's nursery last Friday. But now that I've stopped sending him, he has been asking when is his next visit to the nursery. Aittt... dulu mummy hantar, meraung2 tak mo pi. La nih dah stop, tak sabar2 lak nak pi.

They were watching Barney when I came to pick him up. Lupa pulak nak tarik botol Fimbles when taking this picture.

With Zareef's teacher in the background, the ever wonderful Liz, who did a great job in caring after my teary little boy.

Last time getting his jacket off the coat peg

Monday, January 10, 2005

The Holiday In A Nutshell

Be warned! It's a very long post.

I've been neglecting my blog for quite sometime now. It's not that I have nothing to write. It's just that I've been preoccupied during the last two weeks holiday starting from Christmas Eve right up till New Year. It'll be a stale story to some but I've been itching to reminisce it so allow me.

Before I babble non-stop, I'd like to wish everyone a very happy New Year. May it be more prosperous, joyful, filled with love, peaceful and fruitful in some ways.

How did I spend my two weeks holiday?? That used to be a favorite essay title among my BM and English teachers during my primary school heydays. The normal response would be
1) Went to the seaside.
2) Went back to kampung to meet grandpa and grandma
3) Got chicken pox (or some other miserable disease for the unfortunate ones)
4) Stayed at home and do nothing

But now... I can say that my holiday was spent by roaming England from top to bottom in search of a good Boxing Day sale. Yupp... you read me right folks! My boxing day sale hunt did not stop at 2359 hrs on 26/12/04. Instead, it went on and on and on for two whole weeks with a break or two in between.


After the phone call to my brother, I had a moment of silence (sedekahkan Al-Fatihah actually and say thank you to God because my family was well okay). Then, it was off to Meadowhall in Sheffield. It's a huge shopping mall but nothing compared to Trafford Centre la kan (Rini is SOOOOOO lucky for she has this shopping mecca at her beck and call). We hit Debenhams in my quest to find the Kitchenaid Chef Mixer at a low cut price but to no avail. It's still at £299. I wonder how much is it in Malaysia?? I spotted and tried some pants and got a lovely pair but the queue to the till was utterly horrendous! So I ditched the pants somewhere along Jasper Conran and Warehouse for I couldn't bear to queue for half an hour just for a pair of pants. Forget it!

Zareef was getting cranky so that was the end of Debenhams for me. It was too damn crowded. We mad a beeline for Gap and got Zareef a couple of turtlenecks. Then it was on to Mothercare which btw had a huge sale. B went totally crazy in there and bought like 8 bajus for his son. There were all little kiddo's favorite; Bob, Little Robots, Noddy and Thomas. I added a swimming trunk for Zareef.

Then we just went in and out from one store to another. Most of the good stuffs were gone. I was there at 11 am. What time did these people get here? 5?? Osh Kosh at Boots were on half price but the famous sizes ceased to exist. Damn these people are quick!!

At 5 pm we left Meadowhall because the place was about to close. That's another crappy thing about shopping during winter time. All stores close early.

We hit Bicester Village in Oxfordshire. It's a factory outlet designed for the rich, super rich and filthy rich. The brands range from Clarks, Timberland, Wedgwood for the rich; Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, Villeroy and Boch for the super rich; and last but not least Salvatorre Ferragamo, Bally, Versace, Charles Jourdan, Penhaligon and La Perla for the filthy rich. Us??? We're the country bumpkins who perasan themselves to be filthy rich.

My main aim was to get a handbag at Ferragamo. I went in and saw a sea of people mainly consisting of Asians. Yupp... there were Japanese, Hongites, Indians and Melayus!! Yes people. Half of Ferragamo was filled with melayu. They were grabbing bags and shoes like nobody's business. Damn these people are rich for they did not only buy one bag or a pair of shoes. Instead, they borong all the available bags, shoes and clothes available in the store and left me with none! Whallau!! Gila babi datin2 nih shopping. B siap cakap "Kita datang some other time la when it's out of season. At least you don't have to settle for their saki-bakis".

I was sooo tak puas hati. I badly wanted a handbag. So I went in to the less famous stores like DKNY and Ck. A bag in Ck caught my eye. Price wasn't too bad compared to Ferragamo. It was down to £75 from £200. So what the heck. Paid for it and came out from the store with a broad smile on my face. B said he could see it (the smile and the carrier bag) a mile away.

Timberland's sale was outrageous. Pants and shoes were were 50% off. I took the liberty of adding Zareef's shoe collection by buying him two pairs (£12 from £55) and myself a pair (£20 from £60). Alas for B, it wasn't his lucky day. Timberland is his all time favorite but all of his sizes were gone be it pants or shoes. It's either too big or too small. His must be the popular size of half of the population of Great Britain.

Zareef didn't take it too well to shopping. He was strapped to the stroller but he didn't want to go in to any of the stores. He'll shout and cry "Nak keluar! Nak keluar!" at the top his voice which is kinda embarassing. Luckily B was such a gem and took Zareef for a stroll while I shop. At 4, I called it quits as it was freezing and daylight bailed out. I went home a very happy woman.

Stayed home for a breather. B took the opportunity to finish up his work at the office.

We went to MacArthur Glen in York. Thank God it was indoors so we could make do without our jackets. They had Nine West, Giorgio Armani and Guess. GA and Guess were still expensive even after discounts although there were £10 Guess jeans for stick thin people. Very depressing indeed! But I went stir crazy in Nine West. I bought 3 pairs of shoes for £5 each!!! Imagine that! I fell in love with a kitten heels, a pump and a mule. Hihihi... funny names they have there. On top of that, I bought two more shoes for Zareef (they were £5 from £50) and a pair for myself.

Spent it resting at home. My credit card took a hard beating from my spending. I didn't even go to the NEXT sale. Amazing, eh?!

New Year's eve was spent quietly at home with Zareef in my arms and I in B's. We waited (or it's more of B coz I was already asleep by then) for the countdown on the telly. I kissed both Zareef and B with hope for a lovely future together.

A friend had a gathering at her house. It was good spending New Year Day with friends. She had a potluck thing going on. I made cheesecake. We stuffed ourselves full with nasi beriani, laksam, apple pie, jellies, banana cake, carrot cake and fruits.

A long break is not complete without a visit to Stoke. Yiehaaa... my all time favorite!! First we went to Portmeirion. I wanted to complete my Amabel Rose and Amabel Tartan. Bought 8 dessert plates and 16 coffee cups and saucers. I have always loved their jams so this time I bought 3 flavors; raspberry, strawberry and peach.

B forbid me from going to Wedgwood because he said that I've just spent a fortune there. True. So we just drove past Wedgy (nih ikut Nong's nickname) with me looking forlornly but it wasn't for long. As soon as we reached the Doulton Superstore, all woefullness were gone. It was very uplifting to see rows after rows of chinas arranged on shelves, tables and even on the floor (that's your Rose Garland, Nong).

I had always wanted the Old Country Roses (OCR) from the start but they were too expensive plus B said it was more of an old lady's kinda taste. His was the Frivolous Blue and we did buy a supper set of 6. So, I suppressed my longing for OCR for three years before I finally made my stand with an extra cash to boot to buy it. I bought a large teapot, 6 teacups and saucers, a 2-tier cake stand and two 1-tier cake stands. It made me £115 poorer but I was a million times euphoric.

It was back to work.

It's all back to normal now. Trying to save every penny that I earn for the next shopping trip in Easter plus we're planning a trip to Paris (again! I can never get enough of this enchanting city) and EuroDisney in May. So I'll be make do with tightening my purse for now.