Monday, December 27, 2004


I was up early on boxing day. Yeah! What else if not for shopping that is. While waiting for B to finish showering, I decided to call all my SILs (I have 4 of them) and asked what they'd like. I can be thoughtful you know! One wanted a working Clarks shoes. One was still in Egypt with bro. One wanted a crystal cake stand with a cover and one I couldn't get hold of. Instead it was my eldest brother who answered.

"Yes Nora. What's up?"

"Everything's good. What about you and K. N?

"We're good. I'm very busy now. Did you just call to chit chat?"

"Sort of. Today's Boxing Day and I'm going to shop crazy. Nak pesan apa2?"

"That's okay. Anyway pound is too expensive. I have to cut short la. I'm stormed with news. An earthquake just happened in Sumatra and it caused a tsunami 10m high. Coastal areas of S.E.A are badly affected. I'm sending all my reporters out to scoop news. Penang was badly hit. As of now dah 8 org mati"

"MasyaAllah! That's really bad!!"

"Yupp!!! So gotta go kay. Happy shopping and take care!"

"Yeah... you too. Bye!"

I was too shocked for words.

May Allah bless the souls of those dimished and wiped out by the sea and menempatkan mereka dikalangan org2 soleh and solehah. Amin...


Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Phlattt On His Face

It started out as a horse play but ended with a swollen nose for Zareef.

I was cooking yesterday when...

"Nak Mummy go in front"

"Why darling?"

"Nak Mummy charge Monster Inc." (charge is Zareef's vocab for switching on the dvd player and loading any dvd of his choice)


And so I did as requested and decided to sit down for a breather. Zareef sat on his car and started to push towards me. I pushed him away with my foot. He pushed again and I pushed him away... again. This happened for a few times with him laughing and trying to charge me with his car when suddenly he tipped over and fell flat on his face. I heard a resounding crack and he started to cry in agony.

When I lifted him, his nose was bleeding profusely. Oh My God!! What have I done?!!

"Sakit Mummy! Sakit!!"

I tried to wipe away his blood but it kept streaming out. I was in a state of panic. Zareef held to me for dear life while bawling away. I know he is in great pain because if he wasn't he wouldn't utter the word sakit. Ye lah... kita yg dah besar ni pun kalau kena tumbuk kat hidung sampai berdarah pun rasa macam nak berpinar dunia, ni kan lagi budak kecik...

I did everything that I could remember from reading and hearing old folks tale; pinching his nose to stop the bleeding, held a cold towel against his nose to ease the pain, tipped his head et. al... thankfully his bleeding stopped after a good 5 minutes but that was the longest, torturous 5 minutes ever! Par none!! He cried and he cried and he cried himself to sleep on my shoulders for a good 45 minutes. I tried putting him down so that he could sleep properly but he wouldn't let me. I called B and demanded that he come back and take a look at his son. By this time, Zareef's nose bridge has grown and swelled up. I was so worried that he broke his nose.

Woke Zareef up.

"Zareef hungry"

"Zareef nak fried rice?"


He ate and ate like there's no tomorrow. He drank all of his juice. Thereafter, he was his usual self. Laughing, jumping and playing about.

"Nose Zareef sakit tak?"

"Tak sakit pun"

"Tadi Zareef cry. Nose Zareef ada darah. Nose Zareef sakit tak?"

"Zareef tak cry pun. Nose Zareef tak sakit pun" and the little kid touched his nose.

But to play it safe, we took him to the NHS Walk-In. The triage nurse assessed him. I voiced out my concerns of a broken nose. So she said another nurse will be with us to assess further. We waited for almost 45 minutes and all that while, Zareef was happily running about looking at other people as if nothing had happen to him just a couple of hours ago. It was a relief to see Zareef so happy that we even doubted that anything was wrong with his nose.

We were called in and a different nurse took a look at Zareef. She said that since Zareef was only two, there are hardly any bones in his nose yet. It's still filled with cartilages. So his nose can't be broken unlike if the same thing were to happen to an adult. The swelling will subside in 5 to 6 days time but she told us to take Zareef to the Royal Infirmary if his nose were to get out of shape. A slight turn, and we have to take him to the hospital. Oh dear! Tak mancung dah hidung anak aku nih...

As you can see from the pictures, Zareef's nose is a bit penyek. I pray that it'll return to normal once the swelling is gone. Not for vanity sake but for the sake of my son needing unnecessary operations, alterations or prodding to his nose.

I've learnt my lesson. No more horseplaying with my son. What we see harmless as adults are extremely dangerous to our child. It was the scariest moment in my life. Sometimes I forget that Zareef is only a two year old boy and not a 28 year old kid from the way I treat him.

Motherhood is a bliss but sometimes it brings out the beast in us.

Eating with a swollen nose

My poor son with his swollen nose

Friday, December 17, 2004

Coronary Angioplasty

Got news from home that MIL is in SMC recovering from the above procedure. Apparently, she complained of chest pains and it wasn't the first time. So, my BIL decided to send her to SMC for further checkups. The doctor did several tests- urine, blood, the works. The result; MIL's cholesterol level was skyhigh. Her's was 15 treble that of the average 5. They did a scan and found that one of her arteries was blocked and so a coronary angioplasty was deemed necessary. Alhamdulillah the procedure went well and she's out of the woods. Right now she's recovering at home under the care of my two younger BILs. Luckily both of them are home. One just finished his studies at UTP and the other is on semester break.

Hearing the news was a shock to both B and I. MIL is only 49 but she has suffered high blood pressure eversince her second child was born and it has not gone down ever since. This is certainly an eye opener for me.

You see, I weigh in at the end of the scale or nearly, so I'm quite concern with how I fare in the health department. From now on, it's a change of lifestyle for me. Eat less, exercise more and have happy thoughts. No more stressing out. It's all or nothing now.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Growing Up, You Say??

Zareef is taking his afternoon nap now. So, I'm going to write really, really fast before he wakes up and spoils the ideas that I have for blogging today.

Talking about the little kiddo, B and I have decided (well, it's the former mainly) to pull out Zareef from his current nursery. Reason being, he's not happy going there. So, when the son is unhappy, so is the dad.

"Zareef nak pegi Balamory nursery today?"

"No! Zayeef tak nak"

"Kenapa Zareef tak nak? Zareef can play with friends. Zareef can play with Liz and Vicky"

"Zayeef nak play with mommy. Zayeef nak Harry Potter. Zayeef nak car flying"

And so the scene repeats itself every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I would send him right up to the door of his Blue room while B waits in the background because he can't bear to see his son crying and wailing his heart out everytime we leave him there. It would always be me to hand Zareef over to his teachers. At this point, Zareef would be screaming "Nak Mummy! Nak Mummy!" and bawling and struggling to get free. Usually, it'll take him about 5 to 10 minutes to cool down and play about. At 4.30, when we pick him up, he'll be crying again when he sees us. According to Vicky, he was fine for the whole session except at the beginning when I left him and in the end when he sees other parents picking up their children.

So, to end all his sufferings, we (it's more of B) opted to stop sending him to the nursery. Darn it! There goes my precious personal time but hey... I get to save £90 a month and spend it on ... shopping??


Yesterday was a day of DVD marathon. I managed to watch Princess Diaries 2, The Stepford Wives and Dodgeball. I know, I know... they're all old stories but I didn't get to see them when they were released in the theaters. Having a two year old has stopped B and I from frequenting the cinemas for more than that period. We've missed countless premieres and I have lost tracked of all the latest movies to-date.

I admit it. I'm a sucker for teenage, sappy, happy ending, funny romantic stories. Grow up you tell me? Well, age wise I am but deep in my heart of hearts, I'm still a young kid. Heck! I'd rather watch O.C (Benjamin Mackenzie's rolling eyes is something that I have yet to achieve)and One Tree Hill (Chad Michael Murray is simply delicious!) reruns any time of day rather than... the news?? My all time favorites would be Dawson's Creek, Gilmore Girls, Beverly Hills 90210 (I watched all the reruns repeatedly having it recorded on VHS when I was in the States) and Roswell. I don't know why but maybe, just maybe I'm not quite ready to admit to myself that I'm a wife and a mom or another maybe, I'm not ready to grow up, just yet.

But for now, I'm happy watching a stockful of DVDs courtesy of my pet sis and her hubby who kindly loaned us their hundred pounds worth of DVDs. Yeay!!


The year 2004 is coming to an end in 18 days time and I have yet to list down my 2005 resolutions which in my case never materialized. This time around, I'm going to list down in this blog of mine as a constant reminder to myself and for others to motivate me (hopefully ada yg sudi jadi motivator) to accomplish.

1. Lose weight. This has been at the top of my list since... forever!
2. Learn to be grateful to God for what I have.
3. Buy a house preferably a semi-detached or a bungalow when I come home next year.
4. Be a faithful Muslim.
5. Make life easier for B and Zareef.
6. Spend more time with family.
7. Contribute to a charity be it money, time, energy or knowledge.
8. Get a new hunky-dory job.
9. Make more new friends and less enemies.
10. Repay my parents for everything that they have done for me.

Well, that's about it. I have learnt from the past to make it small at first and build it up from there. That said, I'm starting my baby steps now, hoping that I'll be able to leap and bound not long after that.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Is it time to let the traditions go?

Zareef had his first ever Christmas party yesterday. Unfortunately, he didn't have such a good time according to his teacher, Liz. She said that Zareef was feeling a bit scared of the crowd and loud music plus it was pretty dark in there. Or just maybe Zareef wasn't ready for the night life yet, so it seem.

When B and I came to pick him up, he was crying his heart out. He was definitely ready to leave. Despite not enjoying the party, Zareef managed to sit on Santa's lap and got a box of Lego Duplo as his Christmas gift.

All dressed up for his party

Eyeing the crowd... his small friends

Not quite ready for the dance floor yet


While on break during work today, I had the chance to read The Sun left by John Doe. Apparently, Britons are freaking out because some of their Christmas traditions are being banned by their respective local councils in fear of offending the minorities of this country.

In Luton, the city council gave directives of naming their Christmas Lights as Luminous Lights in apprehensiveness of disrespecting 20,000 odd Muslims in Bedfordshire. The phrase 'Merry Christmas' was slashed out of Christmas cards coming from No. 10. Instead, it was replaced with just 'Have a Happy New Year' and signed by Tony Blair himself! In some big stores in London, Santa's grotto were not seen in view of recent paedophile events and to protect both the Santa and children from abuse allegations.

All this are done by the bureaucrats themselves! The killjoys of Christmas. The meddlers of all muddles. The sole reason given was not to offend people of different religions. Well... that is total BULL!!!

I'm a Muslim and I do not condemn Christmas celebrations. In fact, I have never condemn any religious celebrations be it Deepavali, Chinese New Year, Hanukkah or Easter. I believe that each and everyone of us has the right to celebrate the festivals of their professed faith. Even Islam teaches us to respect others even if it means respecting their different beliefs and religious teachings.

It is absurd that some officials in this country use health and safety reasons to account for the ban of Christmas traditions. It's like saying that we can't have ketupat for our Raya, the Chinese can't give angpow to children and singletons, the Indians can't draw their 'kolam' on their driveways and no bunnies for Easter.

I don't mind at all that Zareef went for his Christmas party. Veritably, I'm glad that Zareef got to experience Christmas as part of his due course in enriching his life. I wouldn't want to raise my child to lead a recluse life. Instead, I want his to be one embellished with different cultures, traditions and values.

With that, I rest my case.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

It's the season to be jolly... tra la la la la la la la la...

It's the time of year again when every kid wishes to be on Santa's good list, parents dash madly to complete their shopping list and run huge credit bills and shopping establishments run joyously to the bank to deposit their healthy revenues.

Yupp people... it's Christmas time...

Fact of the matter is, I actually, truly love Christmas! Not as much as I embrace Raya but I welcome the thought of hearing Christmas songs blasting its way in shopping malls, the tall handsome tree beautifully decorated making it's presence felt and outrageous sales happening all at once everywhere all over the nation.

Don't get me wrong. I'm just celebrating the festive side of Christmas not the Nativity side. In fact, I not only celebrate Christmas, I usher in Chinese New Year (red angpows, mandarin oranges and the blasted crackers), Deepavali (homemade authentic thosais), Easter (bless the sinful but delicious Easter eggs) and Thanksgiving (turkey anyone?) just to name a few. Must be because I'm from a multi-racial country that welcomes diversity of all sorts that resulted me in being a heterogeneous person.

I love hearing Christmas songs rendered by the evergreen singers like Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole and Aretha Franklin. It's like hearing the persona gratas of Sanisah Huri, Sudirman, P. Ramlee during Raya. The Christmas tree never ceased to amaze me with it's many yet distinctive ornaments and lights lip-lapping (ada ka such word?) all the way. Mince pies so sweet that they'll numb your brain out if you have too much.

And talk about the sales!! It's total madness! Everywhere I turn, it's huge banners all over the shop windows bearing the letters S.A.L.E. B would say that the shops have been on sale for the whole year but the prices are so ridiculously low that I kid you not. The day before, I was sauntering down Loughborough's High Street with Zareef and saw that Clarks had a 50% sale. Went in and browsed through for I wasn't really expecting them to sell anything less than 50%. But lo and behold, I saw Jue's handbag at a bargain price of £5. I snorted in amazement. Damn! Kalau Jue tau beg yg dia dok berebut ngan minah salleh mana ntah dah jadik £5 mesti pengsan.

Anyhoo, we will be having our own Christmas parties to attend to. Zareef's nursery is holding their party tomorrow at Cognito complete with a visit from the great man himself... HO HO HO... with a disco thrown in and various drinks and food included. Whallau! Kecik2 lagi anak aku dah pandai berparty! But never mind... he's still too small to understand anything. B's party is on the 16th and mine will be on the 23rd.

So... to fellow readers and friends who do really celebrate Christmas, I wish you a Merry Christmas. May the season be filled with endless joys and happiness. To the rest, enjoy the holidays and have a very wonderful New Year!

Saturday, December 04, 2004

I Love...

I love.....

1. kissing and 'gomoling' Zareef.
2. kissing B.
3. the smell of rain.
4. to see old couples holding hands when walking.
6. reading blogs.
7. watching Zareef when he's fast asleep.
8. eating Japanese food.
9. my Murakami Speedy 30 bag.
10. talking and catching up on things with B.
11. the smell of fresh cut grass.
12. getting snail mails.
13. the touch of Zareef's baby soft skin.
14. daydreaming.
15. going on holidays
16. facial treatments.
17. surprising people when they're the least surprised.
18. my alma maters - SSP and Purdue.
19. getting to know B's unknown quirkiness as the years go by.
20. eating out.
21. to chill out with close friends.
22. to try new acquired tastes.
23. adrenaline rushes.
24. setting my foot on foreign land.
25. the smell of B's Acqua di Gio.

I can go on and on and on... but I'll stop here for now.


My cousin's daughter is taking up medicine in Moscow and she's only into her first year. Last night, she YM'ed me asking the definition of wave propagation. Heck... I know what it is at the top of my head but trying to put it in layman's terms for a freshy to really comprehend is just not in my expertise (that's why I make a lousy teacher). So what does a net freak like me do when I need to know something immediately? You betcha! I googled up 'Wave Propagation'. Voila!! Hundreds return my desperate cry for help but one truly did a good job in making it crystal clear complete with diagrams and what not. Thank God for the Superhighway and Thank God that she had me for her ever reachable techy aunt (hihihii... kes masuk lif tekan butang).